ThInG's to sTuMbLe

A little of everything and every little thing is a Big thing to know about.

Humors from Management Course July 18, 2013


Lesson 1:

 

husband-wife 

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

 Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.”

 After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

 After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

 The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.

 “Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

 Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

 

 Lesson 2:

 car dashboard

 

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

 The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

 Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

 On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

 Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.

 

 Lesson 3:

 genie

 

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”

 “Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Puff! She’s gone.

 “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Puff! He’s gone.

 “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

 Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

 

 Lesson 4:

 Eagle and a rabbit

 

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”

 The eagle answered: “Sure , why not.”

 So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

 Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

 

Lesson 5:

 

bull_turkey.03 

A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”

 “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.”

 The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

 Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

 

 Moral of the story:

 

Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

 

 Lesson 6:

 Bird and cow

 

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.

 As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

 A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

 

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

 

REF: http://www.yesemails.com/text/managementcourse/

 

45 LIFE LESSONS, WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD October 18, 2012


1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose Life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

* Life is much simple when i saw this words of wisdom and i just hope every single word is easy to do in reality 😉 (Crossing my fingers)

REF: http://kangalex.com/post/31729006624/45-life-lessons-written-by-a-90-year-old

 

What Happens to Your body if you stop smoking Right now? May 1, 2011


I think one of the main reasons it’s so hard to quit smoking is because all the benefits of quitting and all the 

dangers of continuing seem very far away. Well, here’s a little timeline about some of the more immediate effects 
of quitting smoking and how that will affect your body RIGHT NOW.

* In 20 minutes your blood pressure will drop back down to normal.

* In 8 hours the carbon monoxide (a toxic gas) levels in your blood stream will drop by half, and oxygen levels will 
  return to normal.

* In 48 hours your chance of having a heart attack will have decreased. All nicotine will have left your body. Your 
  sense of taste and smell will return to a normal level.

* In 72 hours your bronchial tubes will relax, and your energy levels will increase.

* In 2 weeks your circulation will increase, and it will continue to improve for the next 10 weeks.

* In three to nine months coughs, wheezing and breathing problems will dissipate as your lung capacity improves by
  10%.
* In 1 year your risk of having a heart attack will have dropped by half.

* In 5 years your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.

* In 10 years your risk of lung cancer will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
* In 15 years your risk of heart attack will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
This a very inspiring motivation for a long life span of living.. We were looking for a fountain of life then
why not start making it a new life from within.. And make a difference for your loveones not only for 
yourselves.. If you love them you must learn to love yourself..


REF: http://www.loltops.com/if-you-want-to-quit-smoking-here-is-something-to-motivate-you/?utm_source=wahoha.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=wahoha

REF: www.globalone.tv/profiles/blogs/what-happens-to-your-body-if 
 

60 WaYs to MaKe LiFe SimPLe AgAin.. March 25, 2011

Filed under: advise,Life — TinaCulit @ 11:23 pm
Tags: , ,

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds. Don’t make other people try to read yours. Communicate.

2. Be polite, but don’t try to be friends with everyone around you. Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the  people  who matter most to you.

3. Your health is your life, keep up with it. Get an annual physical check-up.

4. Live below your means. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Always sleep on big purchases. Create a budget and

savings plan and stick to both of them.

5. Get enough sleep every night. An exhausted mind is rarely productive.

6. Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you

avoid speeding tickets, tardiness, and other unnecessary headaches.

7. Get off your high horse, talk it out, shake hands or hug, and move on.

8. Don’t waste your time on jealously. The only person you’re competing against is yourself.

9. Surround yourself with people who fill your gaps. Let them do the stuff they’re better at so you can do the

stuff you’re better at.

10. Organize your living space and working space. Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical

organizational guidance.

11. Get rid of stuff you don’t use.

12. Ask someone if you aren’t sure.

13. Spend a little time now learning a time-saving trick or shortcut that you can use over and over again in the future.

14. Don’t try to please everyone. Just do what you know is right.

15. Don’t drink alcohol or consume recreational drugs when you’re mad or sad. Take a jog instead.

16. Be sure to pay your bills on time.

17. Fill up your gas tank on the way home, not in the morning when you’re in a hurry.

18. Use technology to automate tasks.

19. Handle important two-minute tasks immediately.

20. Relocate closer to your place of employment.

21. Don’t steal.

22. Always be honest with yourself and others.

23. Say “I love you” to your loved ones as often as possible.

24. Single-task. Do one thing at a time and give it all you got.

25. Finish one project before you start another.

26. Be yourself.

27. When traveling, pack light. Don’t bring it unless you absolutely must.

28. Clean up after yourself. Don’t put it off until later.

29. Learn to cook, and cook.

30. Make a weekly (healthy) menu, and shop for only the items you need.

31. Consider buying and cooking food in bulk. If you make a large portion of something on Sunday, you can eat

leftovers several times during the week without spending more time cooking.

32. Stay out of other people’s drama. And don’t needlessly create your own.

33. Buy things with cash.

34. Maintain your car, home, and other personal belongings you rely on.

35. Smile often, even to complete strangers.

36. If you hate doing it, stop it.

37. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of

patience you would have with your baby brother.

38. Apologize when you should.

39. Write things down.

40. Be curious. Don’t be scared to learn something new.

41. Explore new ideas and opportunities often.

42. Don’t be shy. Network with people. Meet new people.

43. Don’t worry too much about what other people think about you.

44. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and likeminded.

45. Don’t text and drive. Don’t drink and drive.

46. Drink water when you’re thirsty.

47. Don’t eat when you’re bored. Eat when you’re hungry.

48. Exercise every day. Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program

like the P90X workout.

49. Let go of things you can’t change. Concentrate on things you can.

50. Find hard work you actually enjoy doing.

51. Realize that the harder you work, the luckier you will become.

52. Follow your heart. Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams and desires.

53. Set priorities for yourself and act accordingly.

54. Take it slow and add up all your small victories.

55. However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. Accept this simple fact.

56. Excel at what you do. Otherwise you’ll just frustrate yourself.

57. Mature, but don’t grow up too fast.

58. Realize that you’re never quite as right as you think you are.

59. Build something or do something that makes you proud.

60. Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them, and move along.

“I saw this on my favorite browser and reminds me how simple it is to live life to the fullest.. So EASY to read but yet sooo hard to accomplished with devotion”

REF: www.marcandangel.com/2010/11/01/60-ways-to-make-life-simple-again/

 

Top 10 Fascinating Facts About Sex January 5, 2011

Filed under: advise,animals,Life,Personality,Sex — TinaCulit @ 8:11 am
Tags: , , ,

10..Weightloss

Fascinating Fact: Sexual acts lead to weight loss

The average human loses 26 calories when kissing for a minute. Furthermore, vigorous sex for half an hour burns 150 calories (you can lose three pounds in a year – if you have sex 7 to 8 times a month). Kissing is also very good for your teeth: the extra saliva released during the act helps to keep the mouth clean – reducing the risk of decay.

9.Pubic Wigs


Fascinating Fact: In Victorian times, whores wore pubic wigs

The pubic wig (merkin) has been around since the 1400s when it was originally worn by women who had shaved their pubic hair off to prevent lice. In the Victorian times it was frequently worn by prostitutes who wanted to conceal the fact that they had diseases like syphilis (Honest – we aren’t merkin’ this up). They are also used in the film industry to conceal actors genitals in nude scenes.

8. Condoms


Fascinating Fact: Condoms were originally made of animal intestines or linen

In Asia before the fifteenth century, some use of glans condoms (devices covering only the head of the penis) is recorded. In China, glans condoms may have been made of oiled silk paper, or of lamb intestines. In Japan, they were made of tortoise shell or animal horn (ouch). In the 16th century, condoms were often made with linen sheaths soaked in a chemical solution and allowed to dry before use. The cloths were sized to cover the glans of the penis, and were held on with a ribbon. Pictured above is an animal intestine condom from the early 1900s.

7. Not Tonight Josephine

Fascinating Fact: Sex cures headaches

Next time your significant other refuses your advances by claiming to have a headache, remember this fact: the sex act can help to cure a headache. Sex causes the body to release endorphins which naturally reduce the pain of a headache.

6. Skin Care

Fascinating Fact: Sperm is good for the skin

The proteins in sperm have a tightening effect on the skin. When sperm is left to dry, the evaporation of the water in it leaves behind protein which can help to reduce wrinkles. While this may be an excellent anti-aging treatment, the obvious downside is that you have to walk around with sperm on your face.

5. Pubic Hair

Fascinating Fact: Pubic hair is programmed to grow a certain amount

All hair on the body is controlled by a “growth program” which determines the growth duration (and consequently the length) of hair. Pubic hair has a shorter growth duration (on average just a few months) compared to hair on the head. This is what stops pubic hair growing to unmanageable lengths.

4. Blowsy Gal

Fascinating Fact: The term “blow job” comes from the Victorian times

In Victorian times, a slang term for a prostitute was “blowsy”. At the same time, “blow” was slang for ejaculation. Consequently, by the 1930s, the act of fellatio came to be known as a blow job. It was also used to describe jet planes in World War Two. In Ancient Greece, the common slang for a blow job was “playing the flute”.

3. Male Porn

Fascinating Fact: Men looking at male porn produce more sperm

Studies have shown that men who looked at porn of two men and one woman produced more sperm than those who looked at just women. Scientists speculate that seeing competition makes men step up their baby-making capacities.

2. Sex For Fun

Fascinating Fact: Humans aren’t the only creatures to have sex for fun.

Humans aren’t the only members of the animal kingdom that have sex just for fun. Dolphins and Bonobo chimps have also been observed engaging in sexual activity, when they are not in their natural reproductive cycles. With the exception of a pair of Cohan gorillas observed doing so, bonobos are the only non-human animal to have been observed engaging in all of the following sexual activities: face-to-face genital sex, tongue kissing, and oral sex. When Bonobos come upon a new food source or feeding ground, the increased excitement will usually lead to communal sexual activity, presumably decreasing tension and allowing for peaceful feeding. Interestingly, Bonobo chimps also play and experience joy like humans.

1. Animal Prostitution

Fascinating Fact: Some female penguins engage in prostitution

Believe it or not, in the wild, certain female penguins (even when in a committed relationship) will exchange sexual favors with strange males for the pebbles they need to build their nests. According to Dr Fiona Hunter (a zoologist): “It tends to be females targeting single males, otherwise the partner female would beat the intruder up.” On some occasions the prostitute penguins trick the males. They carry out the elaborate courtship ritual, which usually leads to mating. Having bagged their stone, they would then run off.

 

REF:  http://listverse.com/2009/06/25/top-10-fascinating-facts-about-sex/